Lulu Meets God And Doubts Him

I almost missed my stop this morning -- the stop where I've gotten off e-v-e-r-y morning for the last two years -- b/c I was so involved in my book. It's been awhile since I've read a *really* good book that distracts me in such a way, so I am happy as a little book-worming clam right now. Lulu Meets God And Doubts Him. I know, quite a title. It is also the title of the fictional 9-by-12-foot painting that the storyline revolves around. The painting, a portrait of a young girl coming to terms with her creativity and finding God in that creative process, has this hypnotizing and profound affect on people...especially so when word gets out that the artist has suddenly and tragically died. 'Lulu' instantly becomes the center of attention in New York's elite art world and has collectors and dealers and artists all clawing and clamoring for a piece of it (as told from the perspective of unassuming and slightly jaded art gallery receptionist, Mia McMurray). Perhaps I am enjoying it so much b/c it reminds me of my days spent interning at a Chelsea art gallery (which feels like a lifetime ago), but I think most people would get enjoyment out of this refreshingly witty, quirky tale.

In other news, I had my first class last night (see previous post) and somehow feel both less scared (b/c the first class is always the hardest to get through) and more scared (b/c -- crap, what am I doing?!). It was stated last night that this was NOT a "remedial acting class for singers." Uh-oh. Let's review here how much acting experience I actually have: remember that 'intro to acting' class I took 5 minutes ago? Yep, that's it. But as we continued talking, it became clear that I was not the only one coming into this without much theater experience, and they emphasized that this is a class, and they (the teachers/directors) are there to help us learn. So, yeah, I think it will be okay. Actually I think it will be more than okay, I think it will be pretty dang amazing.

And tomorrow night I head out for an extended weekend of wedding festivities in D.C. -- the bride-to-be is one of my favoritist people in the Whole Wide World, my cousin Lauren, and I can't WAIT for the fun to begin! I am sure there will be lots o' lovely photos to share upon my return...

the happenings...

i am not sure how i've let two weeks pass between posts when SO MUCH IS HAPPENING that is blog-worthy! like...

~the beau and i celebrating our one year anniversary this past weekend (woo!). we spent Saturday in Annapolis at the Annual Boat Show (i wanna boat) then headed to the Eastern Shore (Maryland). i *love* the Eastern Shore -- a nice change of pace from busy city life. we had a lovely time celebrating this Very Important Date. ONE YEAR. i can't believe it's been a year! and yet, in many ways it feels like much longer. i've never been one to publicly gush (especially on this blog -- mostly b/c when i was having a hard time in the area of "love" and i would read a blog or something gushy about a person "in love" then i would want to punch them a little bit. and i don't want you to punch me) -- so keeping that in mind, i'll play it cool here and just say that we had an amazing time together, full of lots of laughter and love and reflections on the past year, and many convos about how lucky and blessed we feel, etc., etc., and...sigh...{ok, a baby gush here}...really, i have just never been so happy -- i feel SO SO happy. and lucky. how did i find this amazing man?? seriously??! {okay, gushing over} :)



~our "celebrity" sighting while dining at Scossa in Easton, MD. who knew that a small town on the Chesapeake Bay housed the likes of Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld? apparently, they do. and we had front row seats to their dining experience w/ their wives on Saturday night. kinda surreal.

~my acting and art therapy classes, which are coming to a close this week. while i am definitely reveling in the thought of actually have a free evening or two next week and beyond, i am a bit sad to see them end. i have learned so much and now have more respect than ever before for both actors (acting is hard!) and art therapists. there were no big 'A-HA!' moments regarding art therapy or my possible journey into that field someday, but i feel incredibly well-informed now and have a better sense of what it is all about. also, i got an inside look at School of Visual Art's art therapy program (where i took the class) and have to say, i'm impressed.

~and...remember that audition i mentioned (see previous post)? and the fact that i didn't get anything, but thought i scored pretty well all things considered? well, turns out, my score has qualified me to be cast in an ensemble/class at the vocal school/theater where the scholarship competition was held. i'm told it will be a "unique and intensive class experience" with "training that is centered around the creation of a world-premiere, off-broadway musical" that debuts next summer, meaning all participants of the class are cast in the off-broadway show upon completion of the school (according to the email invitation i got, which was then confirmed by a phone call i made, followed by lots and lots of research just to make sure that this was, in fact, FOR REAL!!!!). looks like it is! and i start next Monday! i am a bit dazed right now and have NO IDEA what to expect, which is putting my emotions all over the map at the moment -- a mix of excitement and giddiness, along with occasional pangs of mild terror and nervousness. but mostly i just feel incredibly honored and fortunate. i mean, this is why i came to New York in the first place, right? to have adventures and explore different artistic opportunities, take risks, grow as an artist/musician, etc...and i am pretty sure this would fall under the category of FRICKIN' HUGE adventure/growth opportunity. so, yeah...i'm going to go for it :)

i think there is more i could add, but i keep promising myself that i WILL NOT be so long-winded on these blog posts! and yet here we are, way way down at the bottom of the page.

so -- until next time. (which i promise will be sooner than two weeks. well, i *hope*).

So let's talk about the audition...

Last week I did something I never knew I had it in me to do -- I went to an audition. A New York Audition (the words alone strike fear in my heart!). You see, I am not an auditioning kind of girl. It took me years to gain the confidence to even do what what I do now -- the singer/songwriter thing. If someone had told me years ago that I would grow up to be a singer, or regularly performing on stages in New York, I would have laughed -- or at least been very, very confused. Not only did I not sing back then (I didn't know that I *could*), but I was painfully shy and hated being in the spotlight. But people encouraged me and I slowly began to grow out of my shyness and, before I knew it, I was singing in bands and writing/recording and performing and, yeah...the rest is history.

But auditioning -- standing alone in the middle of an empty room (and NO GUITAR to hide behind!)...with JUDGES watching your every move...analyzing every breath, every note -- well, that's a whole different animal.

This particular audition was a vocal competition for scholarship funds to go towards voice lessons, acting classes, etc. plus the credit of "Vocal Scholarship Winner" to add to your resume and endless networking opportunities. {Note: So no one gets too excited here, I will tell you now that I did *not* win a scholarship. BUT it's okay -- it really is. I was up against nearly 200 people, including professional singers and actors who have been on national tours and in big-time NY shows. I *did*, however, come out not too far behind some of those professionals and scholarship winners, score-wise, so I am very pleased :)}.

The audition was held in a small theater in the Village. We all lined up in a hallway right outside the room where the auditions were taking place, which meant hearing everyone else sing -- not helpful for nerves b/c you can't help but compare yourself. Everyone handled the stress of waiting differently -- some sat calmly, taking deep breaths, some paced, some ran scales and sang lines over and over. I was a sitter...and then a pacer...and I was pretty sure that at any moment I was going to run out of air and pass out on the floor. Everyone in my "waiting group" (mostly women ranging in age from 15-40+) was very nice and friendly, and when it was my turn to be escorted into The Room they wished me good luck and talked me out of running away or jumping out the back window. When I walked into The Room and saw the four judges seated at a long table in the center, I thought my heart was going to POUND out of my chest. But then a funny thing happened...when I was given the head-nod to start and I heard the first few notes on the piano, some of the nervousness seemed to melt away a little bit...and when I opened my mouth to sing, my voice actually came out!! I did not pass out or forget how to sing, and in fact, I sang those two songs stronger than I ever had before! (sometimes adrenaline can be a good thing). I felt like I was getting affirming head nods and good expressions from the judges, so by the time I left I was on cloud nine! I didn't even CARE what the end result was, I was just happy that I made it through without crying, fainting or dying! And that, my friends, is something...

(PS: I write this post to you from the Jersey Turnpike and my new favorite way to travel to DC on the weekends: Bolt Bus. WIRELESS INTERNET! On a BUS! Genius.)