Love Thursday

{Santa Fe, 2008}

A slow and quiet morning at the Day Job has allowed me something incredibly unusual and valuable these days: me-time. Glorious, cherished, lovely me-time ... *sigh* ... it has been awhile. And so I decided to kick back with some Etsy browsing, Weddingbee-ing and blog reading (Dan sent me this great link, which then led me to this blog, which led me to this blog and then this one and...ahhh! so many lovely blogs out there!)

This one in particular grabbed my attention and I loved her "love thursday: out of focus" post so much that I decided to do one of my own (click here for more on "Love Thursday").

I have much to be thankful for these days when it comes to love, and although I have mentioned before that I am not much of a "public gusher," a wee bit of gushing is necessary at this moment :)

[Note: part of the reason I am a bit 'gush gun-shy' on this blog is because I am ultra-sensitive to the fact that there are many people out there in all sorts of different places when it comes to love and relationships, and hearing somebody else gush can bring out a range of conflicting emotions. I speak from experience. Just know, dear readers, that I write this from a place of extreme tender-heartedness, with an understanding and sensitivity that comes from a long history of failed love attempts, heartbreak and loneliness. I hope that, more than anything, my words somehow bring hope. Okay, end note and continuing on....]

Last night, Dan (being the incredible man that he is) agreed to meet me down in the Theater District at 10:00 after my rehearsal and have dinner with me (this is life lately: dinner at 10 or 11 p.m., bed at 1 or 2 a.m. Bad. Very bad). We ended up at a cute, rustic looking Italian place along 9th avenue and shared some red wine and yummy food as I jabbered on and on about rehearsal. For some reason, the convo turned and one of us got started on how happy the other one made us, or how we envision our future together, or how we never imagined that we would ever feel this way or find this kind of love...something along those lines! And then suddenly words and tears and emotions were just spilling out all over our plates of pasta! (Okay, so this is maybe not THAT unusual of a scenario -- we are actually both closet gushers :) but for some reason it just hit us both pretty hard last night...this really HUGE love of ours. And how incredibly lucky we are. And how far we've come in our lives to find one another. We both know what it's like to be broken by another person, to be alone, to have little hope that there really is someone out there....there were dark times for us both. But now here we are we (and I know I've never shared our story on here. I will do that at some point, I promise) and it feels all the sweeter and more amazing because of the roads we've traveled to get to this point.

I keep telling him that I feel like I won the prize! Like I got THE BEST MAN in the world! I guess that's what love does, though, right? Changes perspective, makes everything brighter, richer. Or as the writer of the 'Love Thursday' post stated: "My eyes have never seemed to regain their focus."

I enjoyed reading the comments left on her page, hearing the stories of others...so if you feel so inspired, go over there and leave your own Love Thursday comment on her blog. Or feel free to post one here -- I welcome it! (now that you know I'm a sucker for love :)

Buy Handmade

Planning a wedding is the perfect opportunity to get creative. Unfortunately, I don't have much free time right now to put my own artistic impulses into action, but I *can* support my people (artists, that is) by turning to them for things like wedding invitations, jewelry, bridal party gifts, etc.

There are some really beautiful things being created out there by the HANDS of REAL PEOPLE! I mean, sure, I'll be the first to admit that sometimes it is just easier and more convenient to head to a mega-store or mall or the internet (thereby eliminating interaction with real people completely) to meet your shopping needs. But isn't it sometimes nice to know the PERSON behind the product? And with something so intimate and special as a wedding, it seems more appropriate to have a name, face and voice on the other side of those things you are investing in rather than some mass-produced look-alike -- real people with stories of their own -- struggles and joys and a REAL LIFE unfolding around them as they make their art. That's much more interesting than an impersonal machine punching out it's millionth version of the same product, right?

Here is a sampling of some of the cool, wedding-related handmade stuff I've found lately:

Designs By Portobello

Inky Livie

Veiled Beauty

Originals Paper Art

And I just found this site that is an entire blog dedicated to fun and different Etsy wedding finds. It is here that I discovered it is possible to REGISTER with Etsy! How cool is that?!

And while I'm throwing links your way, here's one more to check out:
Etsy: The Storque: Handmade Weddings

Of course, this post isn't just for wedding planners -- it has brought up an interesting question for me personally: why don't I support my people and Buy Handmade more often? I want to be more aware of this fact and challenge myself to more often turn to a site like Etsy before heading to a store like Target (and OH, how I love Target!) when it comes to artwork, household items, clothing, etc.

So, this post is just as much a reminder for me as anyone else: let's support Artists -- Buy handmade!

Intense

If I had to choose just one word to describe this whole off-Broadway rehearsal experience thus far, that'd be it: INTENSE. From the music, concepts and characters, to the grueling hours, expectations and pressure being put upon us....it's all just SO. frickin'. INTENSE! The music is some of the hardest I've ever heard and the concept of the show is incredibly complex and layered, making character and acting choices extremely difficult. Granted, I don't have many lines (which I am actually thankful for -- I don't mind at all baby-stepping into this thing), but even so, I am learning through this whole process that it doesn't matter if you never open your mouth once on that stage, you need to *know* who your character is and know the purposes and reasons behind why your character says/does/thinks what she does, otherwise you (and the relationships on stage between characters) won't be believable to the audience.

The first week of rehearsals was actually incredibly exciting and fun. I was like a little sponge just soaking up as much information as I could -- watching Tom direct, watching the other actors find and develop their characters, learning how blocking is done, and what it takes to build a show from the ground up. It was all so fascinating.

Week 2 was much rougher. The long, long days started getting to all of us (most of us in the cast are working full-time jobs all day, then rushing to rehearsals for another 4+ hours of work at night during the week, in addition to weekends), and with the introduction of the aforementioned difficult music, the intensity of the whole thing was kicked up a notch.

Now we are in week 3 and my little sponge is all dried up. I'm still trying to take it all in, enjoy the experience, count my blessings, yada yada, but I am just so worn out and overwhelmed! Part of the problem is that it's all a bit disorganized -- some of the music is only JUST NOW being finished (as in finished being written!), we've only learned bits and pieces of the first act ensemble numbers, and have had only one (1!) dance rehearsal so far. And this thing opens in THREE WEEKS, people! I mean, I'm no off-Broadway-acting-expert, but I think -- I *think* -- that's NOT a good thing! So yeah, everyone is feeling the heat, so therefore the heat is being turned up on us (the cast).

I am hanging in there, as we all are, but unfortunately it is more frustrating than fun at this point. The good news, however, is that this is NOT the norm (according to my fellow castmates who have done professional New York shows before). The pressure, the hours, the stress and disorganization is not usually this bad, they say. So I figure (if I decide to continue down this road) that if I can make it through this, I can handle anything! Right?!

I really don't want this to sound like I am railing against this show or the writer or director or anyone involved. I honestly am so thankful for the opportunity, and recognize that I am incredibly lucky to be a part of this thing. As with any type of work or big project like this, sometimes things just take an incredible amount of stamina and hard effort and there are usually bumps along the way. Plus, more often than not in life, the harder the road, the better (more worthwhile/valuable) the outcome, right?

And in the end, I think it's going to kick butt. I really do. If we can pull this off (and I KNOW we will!!), I think the public (you!) will be in for a real treat.

**(which is the perfect lead-in for my sales spiel!)**

Opening night is June 11 and it only runs for 10 days, so if you haven't gotten your tickets, click here to do so now!

:)

'Firefly Lane,' Friendship, etc.

I interrupt my crazy, exhausting, blurry-whirl of a life (thanks to endless rehearsals -- another post for another day) to bring you this very important message about books (mmm, books). Well, A book, that is. This book:



There is not much to say...just read it :) (Okay, if you're a dude, you *may* not like it, so ladies, this post's for you). This book has honestly been my sanity-saver lately -- my "happy place" in the midst of chaos. I find myself constantly reaching for it, hungry for more pages, as I dash about the city from one thing to the next (which usually means reading standing up...on a moving train...with 25 of my fellow New Yorkers pressed up against me).

It's nothing super-fancy (literarialy speaking), just a simple and beautiful story about two friends who share the ups and downs of life for more than thirty years. It starts out in the summer of '74 and goes on from there. It made me miss my friends, especially those friends I've had for 25+ years (hi, Nancy :) and reminded me of the days of BFF necklaces, roller skating and games of freeze tag on warm summer nights. It also made me realize how incredibly lucky I've been when it comes to friendships. God has blessed me with so many amazing women and friendships over the years. I saw all of you in the pages of this book.

So, yeah -- go pick up Firefly Lane, curl up in your favorite chair, then call an old friend. That's all.

{Oh yeah, and also: FOUR MONTHS, PEOPLE! FOUR months 'til the BIG DAY! AHHHH! Thank God I will have my girls surrounding me on the most important day of my life :) Just like we promised each other in 7th grade, Nancy...remember? :)}