tired...

sometimes i have trouble just being present. even if i am not currently super-duper busy, but just know that busy times are coming, my mind runs in circles going over and over all the things i need to accomplish before those busy times come, and suddenly i find myself utterly worn out and exhausted before I have even DONE a thing!

whew.

that combined with the fact that i can't seem to get myself to bed before 1:30 am (and generally the Day Job doesn't appreciate or support a work day that begins at noon -- meaning i need to get my butt out of bed in the morning), combined with a packed-out week of New York Fun, has left me: pooped.

on my way home tonight i will a) stop and get a tasti-d-lite treat b/c it is hot and b/c i want to and b) take the long way home via MTA bus service and read my new book. a little way of forcing myself to stop thinking so much about everything that needs to be done and just CHILL THE HECK OUT.

some of the things currently causing my mental gymnastics and subsequent anxiety:
~ a show next wednesday. and therefore new songs to write (ha!), cover songs to learn, emails to send, flyers to make, set lists to write, old songs to polish, and just overall mental preparation. oh and the pickup on my guitar is busted so i need to squeeze in a trip to guitar center for diagnosis/repair. these things are all doable except that...
~ i am going out of town this weekend. again. heading to boston for the art show opening reception (woo!). my suitcases are still lying on the floor of my room half unpacked from my last two trips. and i am sure that when i return from boston on sunday night, that suitcase will again remain untouched in the corner of my room until friday comes back around and it is time to switch out the old clothes for the new and pack for the weekend all over again -- this time to attend a wedding in the mountains of Virginia. [half unpacked suitcases lead me to my next point of contention]...
~ cleaning/organizing the hellacious hideousness that IS my room lately. this insurmountable task has grown so larger-than-life-out-of-control over the last few weeks that i am forced to create categorized to-do lists for each separate "area" of my shoebox size bedroom (aka: "The Beast").

there is more but this list is stressing me out! time to wrap things up and head out for ice cream and chill-the-heck-out time on the bus.