wedding {un}productivity

{photo credits: Style Me Pretty, Style Me Pretty, Wedding Bee, With This Ring}

It is a dreary Friday afternoon here in NYC, and I am feeling tired and grumpy after a loooong week of rehearsals. So with some free time on my hands at the Day Job, I've decided to turn to something that makes me feel *happy* and *productive* -- wedding blogs! :)

There are so many beautiful and swoon-worthy images and creative DIY ideas out there. Mostly I ooh and ahh and feel inspired, but there is also a tiny twinge of guilt and frustration that comes in, too.

You see, I always imagined that I would be an incredibly hands-on (and creative) bride when it came time to plan my own wedding, coming up with fun and personalized ideas to weave throughout the event -- that's what I'd hoped, anyway. I have a list somewhere of 'creative wedding ideas' that I started long ago, and have added to over the years. But lately I've been feeling like I don't have the time or energy to pour myself into this process the way I envisioned I would.

But then again, I never imagined that I would be planning a wedding in the midst of also participating in a once in a lifetime opportunity, either. I knew going into it that it was going to be a challenge balancing wedding planning AND the show, but I also felt like I couldn't pass up such an opportunity because when else would I have the chance to do something like this? I didn't want to have any regrets.

So while I am thrilled beyond belief to be involved in this production, I must admit it is frustrating balancing two big dreams at the same time (I know, I know...cry me a river. It's a GOOD problem to have! I do recognize that :)

The light at the end of the tunnel is that the show wraps up at the end of June, and then it's GO TIME, people! I am hoping that all of the little creative ideas circling around my head and scribbled on scraps of paper will get the time and attention they deserve, and that we will be able to pull off the creative and unique wedding I've always dreamed of! Afterall, this only happens once, so I want to make the most of it :) And in the meantime, I am lucky enough to have a very involved fiancé who patiently listens to all the ideas that I dream up at work (and comes up with some good ones of his own, too), then attempts to help make them a reality {i.e. some personalized DIY invite ideas are currently in the works!}. So I guess I shouldn't be so hard on myself -- things are certainly moving along, despite the busyness. Come July, however, I will hopefully feel more *freedom* to totally dive in and enjoy the process...here's hoping anyway!