Train Crazees

Let me just say, the No. 5 express train was in rare form this morning. I mean, it is not uncommon to see some "unusual activity" here and there on the trains, but for the most part my morning commute is pretty average. There are days that it is so quiet, the only sound to be heard is the buzz of the AC and the clanking of metal on tracks. And then there are days that you feel as if you've stepped right into a circus. Or a Southern Baptist tent revival meeting. Today was one of those days.
First of all, it was super-crowded, more so than usual I would say (and I was annoyed because nobody offered their seat to the little old man standing next to me, who was hanging onto the railing for dear life with his skinny little arms -- come on people! That's like, Train Etiquette 101. Geez.) I was focused on the old man and not really paying much attention to the preacher at first. We'll call him Brother Crazy Train Man. Brother Crazy Train Man was already on a roll when I stepped on, but grew more fervent as the train picked up speed. In addition to the preaching (which included, but was not limited to 1) the Condemning Of Sinners and 2) a call to love one another), there was also a brief poetry reading and a spiritual sing-along thrown in for good measure (which people actually participated in! Wha--?!) I didn't think it could get any weirder, when suddenly, one passenger began antagonizing Brother Crazy Train Man, yelling threats and debating the state of his salvation (while also assuring the whole train car that he was not, in fact, a pervert. Okay.) Somehow, somewhere just beyond the 59th Street station, a heated discussion about Paris Hilton and her recent conviction began between this man (the non-pervert) and Brother Crazy Train Man. (Seriously - I couldn’t make this stuff up even if I tried). So the Great Paris Debate continued as we approached Grand Central Station, where sadly, I had to get off and miss the rest of the show (but not without hearing this final declaration from Brother Crazy Train Man: "I am A-NOINTED! YOU just DIS-A-PPOINTED!") I definitely had an extra spring in my step as I exited the train and headed to work, because a) I am wearing my new rocket dog shoes and they are very cute and comfortable, b) sometimes I may feel emotional and out of sorts and a bit "crazy," but at least I am not as crazy as those 2 crazees, and c) I live in the greatest city in the world. Seriously.