So let's talk about the audition...

Last week I did something I never knew I had it in me to do -- I went to an audition. A New York Audition (the words alone strike fear in my heart!). You see, I am not an auditioning kind of girl. It took me years to gain the confidence to even do what what I do now -- the singer/songwriter thing. If someone had told me years ago that I would grow up to be a singer, or regularly performing on stages in New York, I would have laughed -- or at least been very, very confused. Not only did I not sing back then (I didn't know that I *could*), but I was painfully shy and hated being in the spotlight. But people encouraged me and I slowly began to grow out of my shyness and, before I knew it, I was singing in bands and writing/recording and performing and, yeah...the rest is history.

But auditioning -- standing alone in the middle of an empty room (and NO GUITAR to hide behind!)...with JUDGES watching your every move...analyzing every breath, every note -- well, that's a whole different animal.

This particular audition was a vocal competition for scholarship funds to go towards voice lessons, acting classes, etc. plus the credit of "Vocal Scholarship Winner" to add to your resume and endless networking opportunities. {Note: So no one gets too excited here, I will tell you now that I did *not* win a scholarship. BUT it's okay -- it really is. I was up against nearly 200 people, including professional singers and actors who have been on national tours and in big-time NY shows. I *did*, however, come out not too far behind some of those professionals and scholarship winners, score-wise, so I am very pleased :)}.

The audition was held in a small theater in the Village. We all lined up in a hallway right outside the room where the auditions were taking place, which meant hearing everyone else sing -- not helpful for nerves b/c you can't help but compare yourself. Everyone handled the stress of waiting differently -- some sat calmly, taking deep breaths, some paced, some ran scales and sang lines over and over. I was a sitter...and then a pacer...and I was pretty sure that at any moment I was going to run out of air and pass out on the floor. Everyone in my "waiting group" (mostly women ranging in age from 15-40+) was very nice and friendly, and when it was my turn to be escorted into The Room they wished me good luck and talked me out of running away or jumping out the back window. When I walked into The Room and saw the four judges seated at a long table in the center, I thought my heart was going to POUND out of my chest. But then a funny thing happened...when I was given the head-nod to start and I heard the first few notes on the piano, some of the nervousness seemed to melt away a little bit...and when I opened my mouth to sing, my voice actually came out!! I did not pass out or forget how to sing, and in fact, I sang those two songs stronger than I ever had before! (sometimes adrenaline can be a good thing). I felt like I was getting affirming head nods and good expressions from the judges, so by the time I left I was on cloud nine! I didn't even CARE what the end result was, I was just happy that I made it through without crying, fainting or dying! And that, my friends, is something...

(PS: I write this post to you from the Jersey Turnpike and my new favorite way to travel to DC on the weekends: Bolt Bus. WIRELESS INTERNET! On a BUS! Genius.)