Thursday, September 9, 2010

Hard Days.

insurmountable. (a tall building in Boston)

I don't know why, but I seem to be having an amazingly long streak of hard/annoying/difficult days lately. It's mostly just a *feeling* that I have trouble articulating (although Dan is good at helping me find the words), and mostly just feels like anxiousness/agitation.

Some obvious things are: 1) I miss New York (duh), 2) and my friends and 3) it's hard adjusting to a new place. But I also think it might be 4) work. My work/life balance has been a little off-kilter lately (one of the downsides to working from home). It has started to bleed into the other areas of my life, and I find myself feeling like I always *should* be doing something while I am home now (since home is also my office/studio) and guilty when I am not. And there is always so much to do that even though I feel like I am doing things CONSTANTLY (even into the wee hours of morning), it somehow always feels like not enough. Which I know is messed up and not healthy and all that good stuff, but *knowing* it doesn't really lessen the agitation!! Sigh...Guess I'm still learning. Learning this Boston Life thing and learning this Full-time Artist thing.

And so tonight I made a list of things to do that might help me shake this feeling. Simple, happy things completely unrelated to art and work and photo editing and research and forums, etc. Things like 1) make dinner, and 2) work on Dan's present (one year anniversary is DAYS AWAY, people!!!). And I banned myself from the living room (where my "studio" is and where I spend WAY too much time) and instead sat in my cheery kitchen for a good long while. And that seemed to help.

It also helps to remember that tomorrow is a new day, a clean slate. (speaking of tomorrow, whoops, it is tomorrow. time for bed). Goodnight....

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