Saturday, September 28, 2013

Florida greetings.

Life is quite the adventure, isn't it?

That is what I keep reminding myself of when I ask the question, ok WHY did we move to Florida, again? Not because I hate it or regret it but simply because moving is HARD. I always seem to forget. And moving with a 2-year-old* is even harder than just regular moving. And moving with a 2-year-old AND a not-quite-back-to-normal-yet, fatigued brain is VERY, VERY hard. (*Miles is 2 now as of September 1st!)

But I always wanted to live a life full of adventure. Dan and I bonded over that when we first met and remind ourselves of that often. Back then I was thinking more along the lines of sailing around the world by catamaran....and living in Tuscany for a summer. Things like that. Brain tumors weren't on the list. But you know what? Sailing around the world would bring it's own set of stresses, right? Like storms and choppy seas, and cramped, boat living. And when we live in Tuscany for a summer we won't know anyone and there will be a language barrier. But both experiences will enrich my life and teach me something new. Just like this brain tumor business did and still is. And just like living in Florida will. 

So Florida in a nutshell thus far:
1- We've been here for 3 weeks. 
2- We've barely unpacked. Who can unpack with a 2 year old running around?  
3- It is very, very hot. That Florida sun in September is STRONG! 
4- I've been a little lonely. 
5- Taking care of Miles all day with an incredibly fatigued brain is so, so hard. And reminds me of the limitations I still have, nearly one year post surgery. I had been feeling really good for such a long time that I had almost forgotten about the whole thing entirely. Well, ok, not true. But before, when there was time to rest and babysitters readily available for relief from an energetic, full-speed-ahead toddler, I felt strong and hopeful. I felt like my old self. It made me a better me and a better mom. So we are working on getting help stat so I can get rest, get strong and find some of that hope again! (Brain fatigue is difficult for me to describe to people. A couple of good explanations are found here and here)   
6- I love living near a lake and am excited for the weather to cool down (which will happen soon we've been told!) so we can enjoy it more.
7- I love living close to one of my old New York pals (hi Laurie!)
8- I love living close-ish to the beach. We managed a quick trip to gorgeous St. Pete's Beach for Dan's birthday and it was so refreshing and beautiful. That's deserves it's own post entirely. The beach seems to have magical healing powers. 
9- I love, love, love living near my papa. He's 95 and still sharp as a tack. That has been the biggest blessing of all. Seeing him with Miles for the first time made my heart melt. And Miles talks about him all time and asks if we're going to see him every time we get in the car. "Papa? Papa?" More heart melt-age.
And lastly...
10- I miss New York. I know that doesn't surprise you at all, does it? I miss New York even though in the end it gave us blaring signs that it was time to leave. Like the royal middle finger of goodbyes. Like RATS eating through the wires of our car days before we were due to leave. RATS! Does this actually happen?! Yes, yes it does. Only to us, somehow. And this guy. (Side note: it seems that every city in which we live wants us to sacrifice a car before we leave. Specifically Volkswagen GTIs. Remember this when we were living in Boston? Ugh). That and countless other little and big stresses left us so beaten down that in the end that we happily shut the door of our little NYC apartment, feeling ready to walk out into the Great Unknown. But somehow I still miss it. Not in a way that makes me regretful though. I really don't want to live there right now because I freshly remember the stress. And the rats. But still there's this underlying nostalgia that has been creeping in lately, especially knowing that Fall has officially begun. Little thoughts that suddenly pop into my mind like, I wonder what's happening on Broadway and 89th at this very moment.....and.....I bet Central Park smells crisp right now. And then there's my friends. All my wonderful friends (hi wonderful friends - I miss you all!). 

Apologies, I realize now after reading through this that this is not the most uplifting post I've ever written! But you know what? It will get better. It always does. I have a tendency to feel things very deeply and intensely, always in the moment. The mark of a true artist, I guess :) But it always gets better. Even over the course of the last few days as I've been pounding out this post, it's gotten better. We met a wonderful potential babysitter and some lovely families. Feeling better already. 

Next big thing to one year anniversary of (what Dan refers to as) "The Very, Very Bad Day." October 3. Eek. 

(ending with a picture that was taken at St. Pete's Beach last weekend. such a happy, relaxing moment. and palm trees!)


Anonymous said...

Wow! So hard to believe it's been a year already... (well almost). Glad you're settling in enough to meet new friends at some point. I am so sorry we aren't closer so I could come help you. I love the photo of you and Dan!

That City Girl said...

Thanks, Scottie! Always wishing we were closer :/ Would be so fun!

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