Monday

there's nothing worse than a cold, rainy Monday.

except that there is. getting stuck in the revolving door of your office building because your dripping wet umbrella gets wedged between two different sections, causing a jam that leaves you stuck in one section, your umbrella stuck in the other, and people staring at you, mouths open, from either side, IS -- in fact -- much, much worse. you shake the umbrella furiously and slide it up and down. you push the revolving door back the other way, but it only makes the jam worse. finally, in one last desperate attempt of escape (because claustrophobia and severe embarrassment have now set in) you snap your umbrella like a twig, push your way back into the freedom of the front lobby and breathe a BIG, dramatic sigh of relief. your umbrella is now broken and your ego slightly bruised, but you don't care, because at least you are alive. by golly...YOU. ARE. ALIVE.

and now it is time for a nap.

(ps: this is a true story)

i heart moleskine

my new moleskine city notebook has just arrived in the mail, and i can barely contain my excitement!! i feel as though my life is about to change...

My New York Story

Our classic New York night-out-on-the-town (which happened almost two weeks ago -- obviously I'm a bit behind here) turned out to be a lovely and magical evening, with views to die for...{note: if you would like to die for a view, take yourself on up to the Rainbow Room pronto. You *will* pay well over ten (10) dollars for one (1) drink but I promise it is worth it}. As we sat at our little table-for-two-nook, gazing out over the city lights, I was struck with this profound thought: I am such a grown-up! At thirty, one should be aware of such things, but you'd be surprised how often one forgets. In that moment though, I really felt it, you know? And it wasn't a sad realization. Not at all...it was more a feeling of accomplishment and joy :: I have ARRIVED! I mean, here I am, out on a romantic date with this AMAZING man who has become my best friend (something I *sometimes* doubted would EVER happen), in my fancy frocks at a fancy-pants restaurant with this VIEW of this CITY that I love! It was all quite surreal. But SO what I had hoped and prayed for before making the Big Move to the Big City. And this -- adulthood, maturity, LIFE -- was just what I was after when I started off on this journey...

Before settling down in New York, I moved around quite a bit -- from East to West and back again, with a short and painful stint in the Midwest that left me reeling and fragile. I suppose all that moving around was due partly to my explorative/travel-bug nature. But it probably had something to do with restlessness as well. And while I wouldn't necessarily want to go back and relive those times (except maybe Montana, which was dreamy), I am so thankful to have all of those experiences under my belt and strongly believe that they were a huge and essential part of my journey.

In the midst of all that moving around, New York somehow became my Dream City: a place that, when mentioned, could stir my heart and imagination like no other place. But I never entertained the thought of moving there as a real possibility -- I literally could not FATHOM doing such a bold thing! Whenever I would hear about someone making the move, I would be floored by (and envious of) their bravery: "WOW, you're moving to NEW YORK?? HOW??!" It always seemed like this huge, unattainable thing in my mind -- partly to do with finances, but mostly to do with fear and lack of confidence.

The turning point came when I was catching up with an old friend who informed me that another friend of ours had recently moved to New York -- and this person was the LAST person on earth I could imagine doing such a thing! And that was it. I said to him, and myself, holy cow -- if SHE can do it, then so can I!! All of the sudden, there it was: belief in myself and just enough faith to push the plan into motion. I suddenly knew that if it was meant to be, it could happen. {note: the belief and faith were also boosted by a healthy dose of anger at my (then) current Midwestern circumstances}.

There were many hurdles along the way, including STRONG opposition from my protective father who did NOT think it was so wise to go off and live in "the most expensive and dangerous city in the world" (fyi: neither are true), and losing my partner-in-crime, a close friend who was planning to make the move with me but then decided not to at the last minute, leaving me to face the unknown on my own. But I just knew in my bones that I HAD to do this.

I paid my dues in Jersey for awhile, living on the outskirts of the city I longed for, pulling shots and cleaning bathrooms at the 'bucks for nearly eight months -- but somehow that only seemed to bolster my drive and determination towards The Dream. And then, suddenly (after many late night prayers -- and maybe some tears), I found myself with a job offer AND an apartment IN THE SAME WEEK (which is nothing short of a miracle in this city). There were more prayers and tears, this time of gratefulness, and by summer of '06 I was moving myself and my big dreams to the Upper East Side, where I have happily resided with one (1) lovely roommate and one (1) sneaky cat ever since.

That night at the Rainbow Room with my beau by my side, the realization of how far I have come hit me hard...so many of those things that I felt needed to happen by way of New York have actually happened: I have confidence and a backbone now...I am comfortable in my own skin...I believe in myself and the dreams God has placed within me...I trust now that even when things look impossible and too difficult to manage, there is usually a way somehow. And I feel like I have finally grown into those adult-sized shoes I was trying to fill when I first came to this city 2 years ago...they were a bit big and uncomfortable back then -- but now, finally, they're starting to feel just fine.

it's the little things...

...like this yummy book that i LOVE. makes me want to travel and explore and live life to the fullest in my own God-given artist's skin.

...and the anticipation of breakfast-for-dinner tonight (yesss) with my roommate in front of the TV (which will be turned to Fox promptly at 8 for another entertaining evening with Simon, Randy and Paula).

...a spontaneously decided, real-deal New York kinda night tomorrow night with my girls -- a Knicks game and greasy b-ball food.

...warmer, sunnier weather that seems to be getting better every day.

...which leads to the anticipation of more moments like this.

...and, finally, a new episode (YESSSS!) of The Office on Thursday night. can't wait for those new, fresh moments of extreme awkwardness and crazy shenanigans.

yep. life is good.

Paste-Up 2008

[Life by Laura Lein-Svencner :: From last year's Paste-Up Exhibit]

a bit of good news to share on this dreary Monday morning: two of my pieces have been accepted into the art exhibit, Paste-Up 2008!! {{wahoo!}}

Paste-Up is an annual juried exhibition of small format collage work that takes place at the Ayer Lofts Gallery in Lowell, MA. i am thrilled and honored to be a part of this show...

the exhibit will run from June 5-June 29, with an opening reception on June 14, 6-8pm -- so if you *happen* to be in the area, please be sure to stop on by :)

the 'bucks

Once upon a time, this City Girl worked as a barista at the 'bucks (that is, Starbucks). The longest lasting gigs were in Ann Arbor, Michigan and Northern New Jersey -- but there were also short stints at stores in Northern Virginia and Atlantic City (I know -- random). There were many late nights, good laughs, spilt milk pitchers and angry customers. Some difficult times, but mostly great friendships and good memories. My experience at the Northern Jersey store was probably the most "colorful" of them all (think angry, tired, caffeine-craving, morning, New York commuters who were a) late, b) trying to catch the train that was choo-choo-ing into the station across the street and c) standing in our long line. whew. not pretty). But we made the best of it. Tried to anyway. My co-workers had the ability to simultaneously shock and entertain me on a daily basis. Being street-smart Newark-dwellers, they were in the know much more so than my sheltered-naive little self.

I recall one afternoon, as I frantically pulled shots and steamed milk for a long line of high-schoolers behind the counter, my co-worker sidling up next to me at the bar and nonchalantly asking me if I, and I quote, "liked to get down." I searched my naive little brain for a moment, while continuing to push out espresso drinks like some kind of machine, as to what he could possibly mean by this question. I settled on two possibilities: 1-promiscuity or 2-dancing. Settling for option #2, I asked sheepishly, "you mean, do I like to dance? yeah, I like to dance! dancing is fun." I might as well have added an "awww, shucks!" to the end of it. As soon as I saw the expression on his face (followed by hysterical, on-the-floor laughter) I knew I had guessed incorrectly. Which only left -- oh LORD! why is he asking me THAT?? -- option #1....but oh no, that wasn't a correct assumption either. Recovering from his fits of hysterics, he explained to me that what he MEANT was: do I like to occasionally partake in "smoking" a certain "illegal substance". WHA--?? my answer: "well, given my response, OBVIOUSLY no!"

Living outside cities like Detroit and Newark apparently did not educate me in the ways of street slang. But my Starbucks days sure did.

**
And speaking of getting down (in the good old-fashioned, dancing kind of way, that is), the beau and I are celebrating 6 months next weekend (WOW! I know) and are looking for a magical Old New York kind of night -- dinner and dancing, etc. Anyone know of any classy/Old New York/non-clubish kinds of places to dance in this city? Anyone?

a conversation between me and spring:

me: so, you know how it was going to be sunny and in the 50's today?
spring: {laughter} yeah.
me: well...{throat clear}...um, it's not really...you know...sunny. or 50.
sping: {more laughter} that's right.
me: but it's april.
spring: {gasping, knee-slapping} uh-huh...!
me: but i'm cold.
spring: i hate you.