Thursday, November 22, 2012

Giving thanks.

I'm not going to's been hard lately. My spirits have been more down than up and I find myself looking at Facebook (darn you, FB!) at all of my healthy friends, expressing their thanks on this day for things like health and happiness. And I feel jealous. And sad. And like there is really not much to be thankful for right now. Not proud of that, and wish I felt differently...but it is what it is.

But when I examine my heart -- really take a moment to think about it -- I can see (quite blatantly) how untrue that is. There is MUCH to be thankful for this year, as difficult as it's been. It could have all turned out much differently and much worse. And beyond that, there's so much more. As much as I've "enjoyed" (not really, but you know what I mean) wallowing in my pity-party-for-one over here, I've decided to make myself sit down and write out a list of the things that I am thankful for, in hopes of lifting my spirits and changing my attitude. 

Here goes. In no particular order, I am thankful for:
~my family who has been incredibly supportive and loving over the last two months.
~Dan. Just Dan.
~friends who have gathered around me in support, made me laugh, loved on me.
~Miles. Just Miles.
~honest conversations with God.
~fruits and veggies. it's true! this whole thing has made me take a long, hard look at my diet and overall health and has caused me to make some really positive changes that I am excited about. 
~the Redskins and their big Thanksgiving Day victory over the Cowboys today :)
~the little, everyday moments that happen around the house when you live with a 14 month old. his laugh. his dance moves. his little, pajama-clad body padding around the apartment, giraffe in hand, after he wakes up from a nap. (cue the pictures) --->
Ahh, just looking at these pictures cheers me up and fills my heart with joy! I've been writing this  post off and on all day, and it's interesting to see how my heart and attitude has changed over the course of the day. Maybe my little list trick worked. Or maybe it's just the result of what turned out to be a lovely day. Either way, I'm feeling much better than before. I almost want to delete that first part. But for the sake of authenticity I will not. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.


Kiki said...

I totally appreciate your honesty about how you feel--I think that speaks to people more than a brave face. That being said, I'm glad you also have things to be thankful for in the midst of such a hard time. Great post and Miles is adorable!

That City Girl said...

Thanks, Kirsten :)

bebe said...

I haven't been on in a while, my father has been ill and I am his primary caregiver. (He is doing better now and life is slowly returning to normal...)My heart broke for you, my NYC friend whom has always been such a ray of sunshine to read up on, when I read what a cruel trick life has played on you lately. One thing I learned through all of my woes in my world is life is precious, each and every day. I have decided to simplify, and get back to the basics. Finding little things that make me happy every day, crying when I need to get it out, not stressing over the little things, and taking deep breaths when I need a minute. It is working, and I hope this helps you too. Focus on the right now, and don't waste your time on anything but today. I will keep you in my prayers that you continue to get strong, feel well, and get back to being you again very soon so that you can enjoy this magical time of the year in your favorite city in the world.

That City Girl said...

thanks so much for your comment, bebe. your wisdom is spot on and i am taking it to heart. thank you for the prayers, as well. means so much!

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