Stuff.

Newport, NYE

Sorry I was MIA on yesterday's post -- blogger was misbehaving last night and I couldn't figure out how to fix it....so I went to bed instead :) There wasn't much to say/share, anyway, just a few more NYE pictures (I haven't been able to capture any Boston/Cambridge scenes w/ my new camera yet). I've mostly been cooped up -- hibernating from the cold -- and trying to get back into the swing of things work-wise. Have to admit, it's been tough to get motivated, tough to work from home. There are some days when the freedom feels heavenly, like a gift. And other times when it's so isolating and quiet that I think I might lose it. These past four days have been filled with more of the latter. Going to the 'bucks to work among "the people" helps. So does rehearsal....had our second one tonight and it was great! It's nice to be a part of something again. And really nice to sing again. 

Hopefully by next week I will find my groove and be more fully back to my normal, busy-bee, productive self.  

Busy.

a day in the life ~ walk home through harvard square

It's 11:00 and we've only just finished dinner. Terrible, I know, but it's just been one of those days. So busy, from morning to night, behind on everything. But I had a realization today (not necessarily a new one): I like being busy. I like having things to do. I am working about 5 different jobs at the moment & it's making me a bit crazy but I love it. Love the varying interests, love the challenges, love the freedom to format my day the way that I want/need. 

With that said, there is still work to do tonight & a deadline (art related -- I'll share more specifics later!), so I must run. Goodnight, all. 

Hard Days.

insurmountable. (a tall building in Boston)
I don't know why, but I seem to be having an amazingly long streak of hard/annoying/difficult days lately. It's mostly just a *feeling* that I have trouble articulating (although Dan is good at helping me find the words), and mostly just feels like anxiousness/agitation.

Some obvious things are: 1) I miss New York (duh), 2) and my friends and 3) it's hard adjusting to a new place. But I also think it might be 4) work. My work/life balance has been a little off-kilter lately (one of the downsides to working from home). It has started to bleed into the other areas of my life, and I find myself feeling like I always *should* be doing something while I am home now (since home is also my office/studio) and guilty when I am not. And there is always so much to do that even though I feel like I am doing things CONSTANTLY (even into the wee hours of morning), it somehow always feels like not enough. Which I know is messed up and not healthy and all that good stuff, but *knowing* it doesn't really lessen the agitation!! Sigh...Guess I'm still learning. Learning this Boston Life thing and learning this Full-time Artist thing.

And so tonight I made a list of things to do that might help me shake this feeling. Simple, happy things completely unrelated to art and work and photo editing and research and forums, etc. Things like 1) make dinner, and 2) work on Dan's present (one year anniversary is DAYS AWAY, people!!!). And I banned myself from the living room (where my "studio" is and where I spend WAY too much time) and instead sat in my cheery kitchen for a good long while. And that seemed to help.

It also helps to remember that tomorrow is a new day, a clean slate. (speaking of tomorrow, whoops, it is tomorrow. time for bed). Goodnight....

A good day...

my kitchen!
It was a good, good day here in Cambridge, Mass. (that, after typing it all up here, sounds quite mundane & boring. so read at your own risk!).

Remember the very part-time job up here that I mentioned last month? That began this morning, but it was quite fun & creative work, involving meeting new people & taking photographs(!). I definitely like having a little bit of 'structured' work to do outside of my own work, yet it is something that is so much more free than being stuck behind a desk in an office.

Then there was a welcome picnic over at the Harvard Kennedy School for all of the MPA students and their families, and so I got to meet some of Dan's new classmates (all of whom were incredibly nice & interesting). It made me feel more connected to our new community here.

From there we walked home in drizzly rain that then turned into POURING rain, which made for a most perfect environment in which to nap & bake (in that order). Bizarrely, I woke up from my nap absolutely craving baked goods! I had all of the ingredients for Toll House cookies, except just half the amount of butter. So after a bit of googling, I found this recipe -- and perfect! (I added the nuts back in & then a half a cup of coconut. mmmmmm.....so. good).

I had a little moment of total joy and contentment as I stood in my amazingkitchenthatIlove (see above - isn't she pretty??) mixing cookie batter. The back door was open and I could hear & smell the rain (I've been living on top floors of apartments for years so this idea of having a "back door" and a little porch still makes me giddy) and I just felt so happy to be here. Happy to be having this experience of living in New England for the year in this cute, colorful apartment with my husband. It was a good & welcome feeling, especially after a week of roller coaster emotions & New York nostalgia.

But how can you not feel happy in a sunny space like this?

my little nook by the back door. i love my nook.

Art & Work.

a church in Cambridge
Thanks for voting, friends! I'll post answers later & divulge all the juicy tidbits from the trip (like: we saw a bear! and elk! which was all Dan really wanted the whole trip :)

Yesterday was a big day in these parts. Dan started school, and so therefore I declared it my first day of work (and by work, I mean ART and all that it entails. yesterday it entailed getting back on track with my Etsy shop and making new work). I read a little bit of Steven Pressfield's War of Art the day before in preparation (a book I would *highly* recommend to any artist out there trying to make their craft their "real" job...or as Pressfield says: going pro).

Interestingly, in the days leading up to my first day of work I had all kinds of feelings of dread and negativity, fears that I would fail somehow, or be too lonely working from home, or bored, or not productive enough, etc. This book deals with all of those things (and our biggest enemy in the creative process: Resistance) and gives helpful tips on how to kick Resistance to the curb. One huge thing is treating your craft like an actual JOB, as you would any other job. Getting up early, getting ready, showing up and sticking it out all day. Sleeping late and working in jammies doesn't do anyone any favors (okay, maybe once in awhile it's kinda fun). But I found this one piece of advice to be incredibly helpful. I got up early, showered, dressed, had breakfast & coffee, then got to work. Worked through the morning, took an hour lunch break like I used to at my old Day Job, then got back to work again until about 5:30. And it really seemed to work! By treating my art like a job, I took it (and myself) more seriously and was therefore more productive.

Another interesting point Pressfield makes in his book: "The more Resistance you experience, the more important your unmanifested art/project/enterprise is to you - and the more gratification you will feel when you finally do it." Which explains the adverse reaction & apathy I was experiencing earlier this week -- I have been dreaming of doing this for years!

Anyway, day one was a success. We'll see how it goes from here. I'll keep ya posted!

Lasts.

office view
Last week of work. Last week of this view.
Eek, the "lasts" are beginning...

snow, work, etc.

a snowy morning
the morning started out quite nicely. the streets were covered with beautiful, powdery snow (i love new york in the snow) and the air felt lovely and fresh. but then i got to work. and it was not a good day anymore. not. good. nothing especially terrible happened, per se. just a whole a lot of little annoyances that added up to one big headache. which i then vented to dan about over the phone late in the afternoon when i didn't think i could go on anymore. and then i got home. and these beauties were waiting for me in a vase on the kitchen table...


...and just like that, the day got good again :)

Structure

This week I discovered that I don't do very well without structure. This alarming discovery came about when I was graciously given (basically) Monday-Thursday off because both of my bosses were out of town. I say basically because I did go into the office occasionally, usually around 2pm, to check on mail, faxes, etc. Depending on what had come in, I either stayed an hour or so, or I left. Yeah I know, it's rough (and how AMAZING are my bosses for doing such a kind thing, right?). BUT, to my dismay, I did not do very well with such "openness". I know, I know -- what is WRONG with me?! This is every artist's/musician's dream -- to be able to spend endless hours and entire days writing, creating, etc...But I just felt...lost...and a little frozen. I had these big, empty days ahead of me, and I honestly did not know what to do with myself. I had really hoped that I would be able to dip my toe into the waters of "working from home" -- sort of a test to see how I would manage my time if I actually got my art and music off the ground enough to not HAVE to go to an office every day. Looks like I failed that test. I did okay on Monday -- wrote a verse or two of a new song, finished the Jersey bowl (I will post pics soon) and made a significant dent in a new canvas collage piece I am now working on. Tuesday was okay, but not as good as Monday. Wednesday was no good at all. Thursday was worse. Ah well...if that day eventually comes when I CAN sustain myself on art & music alone, I will just have to be really diligent and create my own structure.

Other random "news" from the week:
* there was...another practice with my potential "band" (mentioned here). It went better this time...last time was kind of -eh- but after this second rehearsal, I have hope that it will *maybe* work out. Time will tell...
* there was...Casablanca in Bryant Park. Even though I could hear/see NOTHING, it was still a magical experience. Something about watching an old classic, outdoors, while surrounded by the twinkling lights of NYC ::magic::
* there was...busking in Central Park to earn some extra cash (my roommate came along -- I'm too scared to go alone!). We not only made fast friends with strangers in the park, but I also got to "jam" with a three-year-old named Matthew who had his little guitar with him. It was awesome.
* there was...mucho bookworming: I am almost done with this book, which has gotten MUCH better (good, in fact!) and I only have a few more chapters to go.

Tomorrow I head to the Poconos for a whitewater rafting adventure. Yippeee!

Now if you will excuse me -- I have popcorn to eat and some season 8 Friends to watch (I can't seem to get enough of my Friends this week. It's my "happy place").

Another List, Velo Binding, etc.

Today I very much disliked:

1) micromanagement
2) condescension
3) velo binding

All of these things equaled (=ed) a Very Bad Day.

After work I went up to my rooftop, sat on a ledge and sketched the city. And the sky. And a cartoon of my co-worker as a bumble bee with a very sharp and long stinger. Ouch. Now I feel better :)